The Deluge

This morning I was hit with an epiphany.  Not one of moral or spiritual implications, but one of dire bestial need.

It all started with a failed attempt to wake myself early in the morning.  I thought I would prepare some eggs and toast as I had run out of milk for my cereal the previous day.  However, sleep became more appealing and that extra 15 minutes was worth it to me at the time.  So, I made the only logical choice of McDonald's breakfast.

I'm usually fairly prudent when deciding breakfast choices at locations such at this, but this time I felt a sense of daring.  I decided that the steak, egg, and cheese bagel was the right choice for me!  Regret doesn't begin to describe how I feel.  It began when I first noticed the strange gravy-like substance that was lathered all over this monstrosity.  It seemed to have a slight neon glow to it.  I tried to wipe as much off as I could as I would not let my money go to waste.  What proceeded was The Deluge.

It then rained for 40 days and 40 nights.  By that I mean I was in the privy for a good half an hour as flood waters flowed from the deepest recesses of my abdomen.  Perhaps this was also due to the delicious curry I had the night before, but the sight and feel of that foul beast I consumed definitely played its role.  A deep brown river, not unlike the one that runs through Willy Wonka's chocolate factory, has been spawned from my bowels. I will not eat that again.